Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Todd's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
10:38 am	I was strolling through a park when I saw a bright speck in the sky. The speck was slowly growing to a glowing fireball, and then a full-sized alien spaceship, which proceeded to crash about a kilometer away from where I was. Needless to say, I rushed over to discover a classical flying saucer inside a deep crater. It wasn't very large, maybe fifty meters in diameter; dark brown in colour; with ornate designs on the sides and around the windows. While there was some brush fire around the saucer, the saucer itself looked undamaged. After some time, a door opened, and a figure emerged. It looked like a giant snail with many small legs, a huge circular back (without a shell), and two long eyes. It looked around, saw me, and crawled forward, speaking in surprisingly good and formal English: "Pardon to bother you, sir, but could you help me repair my spacecraft?" "Absolutely," I replied, unsure of how exactly I would be able to undertake such a task. "Please, do not worry," reassured the alien as if reading my mind, which it very well may have been, "for I am certain your skills are not lacking." "Thank you?" I replied, unsure of how to proceed. "The reparations require simply a meter of wire, five kilograms of steel, and a soldering iron. I will provide the solder." "You're right, that does sound like something I can do. Can you show me what to solder?" After showing me a small tear in the hull that I did not see before, and making sure that I understood what fragile parts I should avoid touching, the alien asked, "How much time is the cost of your repairs?" "I'm sorry, I don't think I understand," I replied, trying to parse its sentence. "I assume that members of your society do not work for free." "That is true." "I also assume that you would need to be reimbursed for the materials and your labour," the alien continued, obviously accustomed to providing detailed explanations during interplanetary communications. "Well, sure." "Then, how much time will you charge me for your labour?" "I cannot charge you time, because time is not a currency, it is a measure of... time." I was not sure how to finish that awkward sentence. "What does your society use to negotiate trade?" "Money." "Oh. Oh." The alien paused, obviously taken aback by my response. "Your society uses money. I now understand." "How do you use time for currency?" "The purpose of currency is to regulate trade of items of similar value. Instead of trading arbitrary items whose value can increase and decrease at will, our society trades time. The value of time remains constant." "How does that work?" "The same as does money. You expend time at work, and you are reimbursed for your effort. You then give your reimbursement to others in exchange for goods and services. Others do the same, creating an economy. Our society trades directly in time. I receive time as reimbursement for my labour; I trade time for goods and services; this is the basis for the economy of my society." "The overall concept makes sense," I replied. "We do, as a matter of fact, have a saying 'Time is Money.' But how do you actually give or take time?" "It is apparent that your society does not have the science to understand this operation. Nonetheless, upon completion of reparations, I will give you ten Earth hours. You may use them as you please." And just as it promised, the alien handed me ten hours, stored inside a small device that looked like a remote control. I watched the flying saucer as it ascended into the sky, becoming a small speck before disappearing from my view completely. I never did figure out what to do with the ten hours stored inside a technology that no one on Earth could comprehend - so I just started carrying the device with me everywhere, as my lucky charm. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008
12:59 pm	Wakeful You know that feeling? You have an important appointment in the morning, and you must wake up earlier than usual. You set your alarm, but because you're worrying about everything going well, you wake up even earlier, look at the clock, and try to fall back asleep for the remaining 30 minutes? It doesn't work: you close your eyes; wake up thinking that you overslept; look at the clock; and realize that only 5 minutes have passed. And again, and again. It happened to me all of last week. Each day of the week I had to go to a different place and give an early presentation. Even though I spent most of Sunday preparing, I was still nervous going to bed, and so I woke up at 6:30am on Monday morning, suffered for half an hour until my alarm finally went off, and then finally got up. (The presentation went well!) The same story happened on Tuesday. (I get nervous talking in public, see.) When I woke up at 6:30 on Wednesday morning, I was pretty frustrated, unable to catch those 30 minutes of extra sleep. On Thursday morning, frustrated by the inevitable tossing and turning, I decided to take a different approach. Instead of trying to force myself to sleep, I decided to relax and daydream. And it worked! The thread of my dreams weaved in and out of reality, unencumbered by an explicit request to sleep. When I would wake enough to realize that I was just napping, I would relish the warmth of the blankets and cling to the present moment instead of forcing myself to submerge into dreams; whenever I dreamt, I would relax and let the dreams pass me by instead of clinging to them and filtering them. I was in my stasis, oblivious to the flow of time; and while my alarm clock was unexpected, I was nowhere as frustrated as I was the previous mornings, and was actually eager to start my day. By Friday, it had already become a routine. Not even caring about the time, I dreamt and passively watched as my body was tossed between the world of reality and dreams. The only part of me awake enough to pay attention was concentrating on the warmth and the darkness provided by the blankets pulled over my head. My body was asleep, and my mind was basking in warmth and relaxation. I wasn’t too surprised when I woke up early on Saturday. Since going back to sleep would be impossible, I napped. No alarm was waiting for me, and I eventually got tired of this sort of napping. Since it was still too early to get up, I decided to try something different, and tried to establish a foothold in this state. I slowly awoke myself—not fully, but enough to examine the state of my own mind. In this blanketed cocoon, the only reality was inside my mind. I was too awake to have a lucid dream, so instead I tried to perform a trivial task, such as squaring two-digit numbers. I visualized a blackboard with white numbers on it. The numbers faded over time, but if I worked quickly enough, I could see enough to get the right answer. I moved on to more complicated tasks: mathematical proofs. It took me a while, but I could re-derive some of the proofs I’ve seen years ago. Next: proofs I haven’t actually seen. Done. I was amazed. I got up shortly after writing “QED” on the imaginary blackboard, and tried to think about what had just happened. As I tried to recall the proofs, I saw the writing disappear. The veil of the restful haven having been torn, the magic leaked out and with it carried the knowledge and the accomplishments. I could remember the basics of what I had tried to do, but had no recollection of how I did it. What really shocked me was that all the mental exercises that would certainly take me 2-3 hours in real life only took 30 minutes in my dreamless sleep. Although I did not have the fruits of my labor, at least I was alert and cheerful that day. It was only on Sunday that I figured out how to use my “gift”. The timeless room in my mind has a one-way membrane: I remember everything going into it, but can’t carry anything out of it. The only thing I can do is scribble on the walls: my thoughts create new synapses, and I’m more likely to follow these neural pathways if I attempt the same thing in my wakeful state—which is what I have been doing ever since. Every day, before I get out of bed, I think about the tasks I have to accomplish. I don’t get tired of it because I’m technically resting; I don’t remember anything I do after I wake up; but I know exactly what to do once I attempt these tasks for real—as if I’ve done them before, which I have, in my sleepless dreams. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 10th, 2008
5:10 pm	When They first appeared seven years ago, the world panicked. Nobody was prepared; nobody could have been prepared, not even the SETI guys who were supposed to believe in ETI more than anyone else did. We didn't really know what to think when the first colossal structure appeared in the downtown of the first city. We insisted it was a well-constructed hoax, akin to War of the Worlds, where someone wanted to laugh at our expense. But the photos and videos kept coming, and news teams kept interviewing scientists who were flying in from all over the country, and the story was slowly solidifying in everyone's minds. Man!, did that wreak havoc! Everybody, every single person, went through some sort of a nervous breakdown while trying to accept the truth. There were lectures, there were protests, there were futile attempts to blow the structure up - nothing anyone tried has left a single dent in the dark shiny material. The first structure started growing in the downtown, among all the other skyscrapers. It didn't exactly displace the other buildings but grew around them, carefully, to avoid disturbing the peace any more than it already has. It started out just as another skyscraper, but kept growing to five city blocks in width and two miles in height. After two weeks of growth it stopped, and there was nothing for a whole year. We probably came up with hundreds of potential explanations - messengers of the Apocalypse, aliens gathering Earth's resources, a huge baobab from The Little Prince - no one really knew. Some theories outlasted others, until people settled on Them (always capitalized out of respect and out of fear), the extra-terrestrial intelligence who planted the structure for a reason. And because we couldn't understand that reason, we just accepted Their wisdom, adjusting our own religious and philosophical beliefs and trying to go on with our lives. It was harder than it sounds. No one could really shake off the depression, the feeling that we were just pawns in some colossal game that spanned the entire universe. Most people lost the meaning from their life; a wave of suicides followed in succession for almost a month. In time, we all grew numb to the feeling, forcing ourselves to think about work and day-to-day stuff instead of some tower in some other place. Distraction wasn't easy, but it was possible. Still, people preferred to keep quiet and solemn; smiles had to be forced and reciprocated none in return. This numbness allowed us to accept the other five structures calmly. They appeared a year after the first one. We were slowly watching them grow, lamenting the loss of a simpler life, but convincing ourselves that six structures weren't that much worse than just one, and trying to joke that now we didn't have to travel as far to see one. And when nobody laughed, we finally realised what They were after. The structures weren't cosmic trees or great excavators of Earth's resources. The structures extracted our emotions. Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2008
12:01 am	They gave him time. His body wouldn't age, and he would never get sick. Cuts would close up, and broken bones would heal. He would walk among other man, indistinguishable from them, but possessing a goal of importance they could not fathom. He was looking... Looking for something. What was he looking for? He finally remembered. The first few hundreds years were simple. Everything was simple back then: treasures were given to kings in exchange for favours big and small; treasures were guarded by elite armies; treasures were accessed by kings' right-hand men. And so he would go to their palaces, starting low but advancing in ranks, trading secrets and stabbing backs, until he would become the trusted advisor - but never trusted enough, because his betrayals would catch up to him and force him to flee, change his assumed name, wait for kings to be conquered by other kings, and for the sacred treasure to be moved in wooden wagons protected by small armies he could not possibly overcome. He almost succeeded once. He was close, close to the rooms with the treasure, close to being allowed entry, close to seizing it - just a brief moment was all he needed. But he slipped. He'd been trying for too long, and his soul was corrupted. All the other treasure, less important but more worthy, was gleaming in his eyes, and he reached for it instead, and fled, and was not seen again for a hundred years. He wouldn't age and couldn't get sick, but his soul was old. He started to forget what he was sent to recover, to forget who he really was, replacing himself in his mind with a personality he'd assumed. He became a wealthy merchant who always had the most exquisite items brought by his trading ships, always wore expensive clothing, and always dined in luxury. He liked that life, with no stress and no worries. But then he started to get sick. He'd feel tortured, his muscles aching and shaking with pain; but his body's temperature perfectly normal. Leeches wouldn't drink his blood, and healers couldn't exorcise his demons. One night he thought, and thought, and realised his obligations. He cast away his charade of wealth; he cast away his sicknesses and denials; and he once again set forth to acquire the treasure, this time more directly, more honestly, and more delicately. His plan would take another five hundred years to complete. They gave him time, and they could afford to wait. They could wait forever. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 18th, 2006
11:28 pm	"You're a robot!" I accused it. "And not a very good one. You're a sorry excuse for a robot." "Excuse me," it replied, "but I'm not a robot." "Oh, you're not? I'm... I'm sorry." "Ah-ha!" it exclaimed. "Now that was a 'sorry' excuse for a robot." What an awful robot! (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 25th, 2006
8:56 am	I was going home the other day, and these two teenagers come up to me and ask, "Wanna buy some contact lenses?" I was certain that I misheard, so I asked them to repeat themselves. "What?" "Wanna buy some contact lenses?" I was fascinated with their proposition. I mean, contact lenses must be custom-made for everyone, and the teenagers looked nothing like optometrists. If anything could be deduced from their raggy clothes and furtive looks, they were thieves. But I was curious to see where the conversation would go. "How much?" I asked. "Forty dollars, both eyes." "I'll take 'em," I committed. "Follow us," they replied. We went through a series of dimly-lit streets and narrow alleys to a small staircase leading to a door below ground. I followed them and was surprised to see an optometrist's (ophthalmologist's?) chair, a case of lenses with different magnifications, and everything else you expect to see when you go for an eye exam. "Sit here," they directed. I complied. They proceeded to give me a complete eye exam, taking note of the dryness in my eyes, of my astigmatism, and my myopia. At the end, after writing me a prescription and asking me for my mailing address, they asked for a payment. I gave them my credit card (they did, after all, have a scanner) and signed the receipt. "Your lenses will be delivered in ten business days," they assured me. Unfortunately, once home and looking at my credit card statement, I saw that my card had been used to buy dentist equipment online. What an elaborate scam! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
10:30 am	Today for breakfast, I decided to have an ear of corn. You know: post-Thanksgiving leftovers, and all. It was 8:20 and I didn't have to leave 'til 8:40, so I had plenty of time to eat the yellow goodness. Ten minutes passed by, and I was only a quarter done with a single ear. By 8:40, a half remained. I was surprised, but kept eating, deciding that I was simply too distracted by daydreaming. Focusing on the task at hand, I redoubled my chewing rate. By 8:50 I was too full to eat any more. Even my jaws were a little too sore. I looked at the corn, and was surprised to see that there was a quarter of the ear left. Thirty minutes of eating was not enough time to finish it! I told my co-worker the story when I got to work. "Did you buy the corn from that new grocery store down the block?" he asked me. "Yea, I did--great store, isn't it?" I replied. "Quite so," he agreed, "but they don't sell the usual kind of corn there." "They don't?" "No," he replied. "Their special strain is unusually filling and long-lasting." "What's the strain called?" I inquired. "Corn-o-copia." (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
11:57 pm	Binary The Campanile (also known as the Sather Tower) in Berkeley has a clock on each of its four vertical faces. The clocks usually do not match, and they didn't today, when I was almost late for an appointment. I'd forgotten my watch at home, and, after glancing at the tower, asked a random passerby, "Is it two or two-fifteen right now?" "Yes," he replied mysteriously. Trying to outwit him, I asked again, "Is it two xor two-fifteen?" "Of course not," he replied indignantly. "All right, then, do you know the time?" "Huh-uh," he shook his head. "But I do know that it's either two, or two-fifteen--look at the clock tower!" (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 21st, 2005
11:40 pm	"Recipes... aren't meant to be followed," he began. "They are more of guidelines--you read a few, select the ingredients you like the most, and then prepare them your own way." "Okay..." I began to reply. "Sometimes you must be creative. Mix in your own spices, try something new. Don't be afraid." "But--" "It's not potion making; you're allowed as much variation as you want. Heck, with a bit of luck, the recipe you create will be for something completely unlike anything else you've made before!" "You can say that again," I muttered. "That's precisely what I did," he continued. "I used my imagination. What do you say to that? What can you say to that?" "What kind of recipe consists of fish oil, Chili peppers, firecrackers, filtered sake, a blowtorch, and a hydrogen weather balloon?" "A recipe for disaster!" he replied, proudly. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
10:16 am	As I was getting a bagel from the bag yesterday, I noticed that the expiration date would be today. The bagels looked fine, so I decided that if I eat one per day, I'll be able to finish them before they go bad. Today, however, as I opened my cupboard, my bagels were nowhere to be found. What's more--there was a huge mess, as if someone had rummaged though the cupboard looking for something. Then I noticed a trail of crumbs. It was faint, but it was able to lead me into the storage room, where I saw the three bagels stuck onto the bicycle seat. I looked closer, and noticed that each of the three bagels had a pair of eyes and an evil-looking grin. "What are you doing?" I asked. "We're tired of being stuck in that bag for days in and out. We're running away!" "But you can't even reach the pedals of this bicycle," I protested. They didn't have any comebacks. So I ate them. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
8:14 pm	I hope no one will try to comment on this entry. Current Mood: curious (13 Comments |Comment on this)
8:11 pm	Don't you wonder if your browser still supports <plaintext>? ( Beware ) Current Mood: mischievous (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 31st, 2005
9:30 am	Today, I donned a pair of nice trousers, a polo shirt, a pair of black socks, and dress shoes (underwear included). That outfit won the best Halloween costume contest at work. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 24th, 2005
11:16 am	My car was broken into! Interestingly enough, the robbers took it for a test drive. When I got into it, I noticed that they filled up the tank, topped off the coolant, pumped some air to the tires, and even ran it through a car wash. But in return, they stole the steering wheel. What a weird bunch of robbers! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
1:21 pm	I've always admired Microwave Ovens' ability to warm up its contents for one minute and sixty-five seconds (1:65). (Comment on this)
Monday, October 17th, 2005
8:53 am	I was in a restaurant, overhearing a couple. "You're so sweet," said the girl. "I know," replied the guy. "I know you know," countered the girl. "I know you know I know," continued the guy. "I know you know I know you know." "I know you know I know you know I know." Their exchange lasted about a dozen more rounds when the guy suddendy said, "I didn't know that you know that I know that you know that ... that I'm sweet! I'll remember that!" They kept on smiling at each other after that, as if nothing had happened. I think they're robots. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
1:21 am	"No, I'm not going to count," she said. "Counting is against me." "How is it against you?" "Didn't you know that it comes from the Greek Κόντρα, which means counter?" "What?" I asked incredulously. "Of course! In English, it first became contra. Then came the word counter--like a bar counter--because it was a separator between a bartender and the patrons--it was the barrier between two opposites." "Did it now?" I went on. "Certainly. Lastly," she continued, "the word adapted a second meaning--a counter that helps us count--because bartenders would often count how many drinks each patron had. That's where the verb 'to count' comes from!" "What was your major again?" I asked. "Philosophy," she replied cheerfully. No wonder she wanted me to do the calculations for the tip in the restaurant. I charged her extra. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 10th, 2005
9:53 am	I woke up very unbalanced today. I was dizzy, and felt like I was going to fall on my left side. Luckily, I got to work okay. Interestingly, there was more in my bank account than I thought there'd be. So I went online and ordered "The Complete Far Side". And behold! my dizziness was gone; I could walk and not feel like I'm about to trip; but I was leaning a bit too much to the right. I think I spent too much. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
8:01 pm	How do you explain the future job to a crash dummy? I mean, they're so excited after they manage to answer all your interview questions; and then they ask you about the job you're offering them. It's a very delicate matter, you know? What are you going to say? You can't just say, "That's what you're made to do," because religious discrimination is down-right illegal. You have to coax them, promise them that they'll get to drive a new car... It's just sad, you know? But what are you gonna do, liberate them and hire them as mannequins? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
6:32 pm	Try our new, delectable Meri-T! What could be better than a hot beverage after you complete that long, exhausting project you've been struggling on for the past week? Meri-T is the best tea to celebrate your accomplishments. And if you call today, you will receive free samples of Merry-T, the everyday tea for a merry day, as well as Marry-T, the tea reserved exclusively for those special occasions. (1 Comment |Comment on this)